I met Melissa in Dec. of 2007. She was everything I had been looking for. She is my other half.
We got pretty serious, and July 30th, 2008, right in our front yard, she gave me a diamond ring and asked me to marry her.
Friends and family were just as happy as we were. I wanted to tell the world how excited I was. I wanted a nice ceremony, a place to celebrate, my dad to give me away, and be able to choose where and when we would be exchanging vows.
As the planning started I realized these small things that are taken for granted by the straight community, I could not do. The first thing was that I was warned not to place any type of engagement photo in the Titusville Herald because of what had happened when Oil City native Joe Wilson and his partner Dean Hamer put their wedding announcement in the Derrick.
The last thing we wanted was to stir anything up. Although my friends and family supported us, we were scared the support would no longer be there if there was any type of negative feedback.
We were already hearing things like: "You know, this isn't a REAL wedding," and "Watch what you tell people, there are protesters out there," ... "Don't make it too big, you don't want to draw attention to yourself," and my personal favorite, "You realize this is not legal."
I was well aware that my marital status was still going to be single in Pennsylvania's eyes, I didn't need to hear it from anyone I cared about.
When I started to find a place to rent for the ceremony, I got lucky. We were told by others not to say what we needed the hall for, so we didn't. I thought we had a date in April and place to celebrate in stone. Got the invitations printed, things were bought, plans were made. But, sadly, due to money issues, we had to let that one go.
That is where things got bad.
I did not get the best response when we tried to find another spot. One place told me that they couldn't let us have the room because they didn't want any "incidents!"
Many places were telling me that they would "get back" to me, but never did.
Finally I found a little meeting room that belonged to a local church. It was the first bite I had, so we took it. We would have to change the date, but at least it was a place. We redid the invitations, and within 3 weeks, certain people found out the location, and we were forced to change it, because it was against the catholic church.
I was back to square one ... no place ... my mom asked me what I thought about an outside wedding ... maybe at a pavilion.
It was too cold in Pennsylvania to have an outside wedding in April ... So we changed the date for the third time. This time it was going to be May 16, 2009. We again lied about why we needed the pavilion. We told them it was an anniversary party for my parents. We redid the invitations for the third time ... changed everything around, all to keep from being "outed" to the anti-gays around here.
It was complete bullshit.
After all the stress and tears, we had our day. It was beautiful and we had a lot of support show up!!!
Although it may not look like much here on paper, it was very sad and unnecessary to have to fight so hard just for us to have our day !!!
I hope this helps at least one person.
5 comments:
Bigotry?
How is a sinful lifestyle the same as the color of one's skin? When one sins (not just the sexual lifestyle), one is so emershed in sin that they do not realize that they made a choice to sin. It appears to them that it was the way they were made.
What I find dissapointing is that when leftist find out what people really believe (especially when they have deeply held religious beliefs), the 1st Ammendment disappears and we must be changed to hold ideas that we find as anathema.
If you don't want to be around people who hold traditional beliefs, move. America gives you the freedom to move to a community that tolerates sin.
I am signing this as anonymous because I don't want hateful homosexual extremists harrassing me.
anonymous, Read this: http://www.newsweek.com/id/216910
As a straight person this was always my biggest beef with "the Church". UU seemed the only Christ-like denomination out there. I was happy to read this on mainstream news media today.
Congratulations Maria and Melissa. I am sorry someone came to this post to hate.
May you have many many happy years together.
Dear Anonymous:
When is preaching HATE the Christian way???
Maria & Melissa congrats! Hopefully soon EVERYONE can have the same rights in a country that claims we are all equal!
This anonymous closet case said,
"When one sins (not just the sexual lifestyle), one is so emershed in sin that they do not realize that they made a choice to sin. It appears to them that it was the way they were made."
So, YOU assume to know me better than I know me. And because YOU have a personal guilt complex about homosexuality, you transfer that pain onto me.
I can say all day long that I am very happy, have been very happy for all of forty year, being homosexual, but YOU know better.
Nevermind the studies that show that those who fear and condemn homosexuality the most, are themselves bitterly conflicted about their own homosexuality.
We know what people really believe. Polls have shown over and over again that the vast majority of people in the USA have no problems with homosexuals and want full protection under the law for homosexuals.
A small group of conflicted closet case homosexuals join churches and then use God as a weapon against homosexuals, simply to appease their own fear and guilt.
Come out of the closet anon. Or shut up. Don't tell me how I feel.
Speak your own truth and let me speak mine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRq46AxhRKc&feature=fvw
Post a Comment