Traditional Marriage in Pennsylvania Includes Craigslist and Murder

No comment on this story yet from the American Family Association of Pennsylvania's champion of family values, Diane Gramley ...

Pennsylvania Newlyweds Killed Man for Thrills, Police Say

By Associated Press - Dec. 7, 2013:

SUNBURY, Pa. » A couple married for just three weeks lured a man to his death with a Craigslist ad because they wanted to kill someone together, police said.

Elytte Barbour told officers before his arrest Friday night that he and his wife, Miranda, had planned to kill before, but their plans never worked out until last month when Troy LaFerrara responded to an online posting that promised companionship in return for money, authorities said.

Elytte Barbour, 22, and Miranda Barbour, 18, face criminal homicide charges in LaFerrara's death. His body was found Nov. 12 in an alley in Sunbury, a small city about 100 miles northwest of Philadelphia.

According to Sunbury police, Elytte Barbour told investigators he hid in the backseat of the couple's SUV as his wife picked up LaFerrara at a mall Nov. 11. He told police that, on his wife's signal, he wrapped a cord around LaFerrara's neck, restraining him while Miranda Barbour stabbed him.

The 42-year-old Port Trevorton man was stabbed 20 times, police said.

Miranda Barbour was charged Wednesday. She initially denied knowing LaFerrara, but her story evolved as investigators gathered evidence, including the discovery that the last call received by the victim's cellphone was made from her number, according to a police affidavit.

The affidavit said Miranda Barbour acknowledged meeting the victim in Selinsgrove and driving with him to Sunbury, where they parked. She said LaFerrara groped her and she took a knife from between the front seats and stabbed him after he put his hand around her throat, according to the affidavit.

Police said Miranda Barbour had told them she purchased cleaning supplies at a department store after stabbing LaFerrara, then picked up her husband and took him to a strip club for his birthday. On Friday, police said, Elytte Barbour told them he was the one who had purchased the cleaning products, an account investigators said was backed up by surveillance footage.

Following his wife's arrest, Elytte Barbour told The Daily Item of Sunbury that Miranda Barbour, whom he married Oct. 22, regularly hired herself out as a "companion" to men she met on various websites, a business venture he said he supported because it didn't involve sexual contact.

Barbour said his wife made anywhere from $50 to $850 by meeting with men for such activities as having dinner together or walking around a mall. The ads she placed on websites including Craigslist all said upfront that sex was not part of the deal, he said.

"She is not a prostitute," he said. "What she does is meet men who have broken marriages or have no one in their lives, and she meets with them and has delightful conversation."

Elytte Barbour didn't have an attorney at his arraignment Friday night. A phone message left for his wife's public defender early today was not immediately returned.

Sunbury police Chief Steve Mazzeo told The Daily Item that investigators will also be looking into the death of a man with whom Miranda Barbour had a 1-year-old child. He would not elaborate.

Is This What American Family Association Means By Traditional Family Values??

Twisted Mom & Dad's Deviant 'Parenting Plan' Was Plotted Before Kids Were Even Born

by Kiri Blakeley - The Stir - 9/16/13:

This is the most sickening "parenting plan" you can imagine. A couple started a family so that they could rape their own children. Yeah, it doesn't much worse than that. Jonathan and Sarah Adleta have been found guilty of child-sex charges and face many years, possibly life, in prison. The children involved? Their own daughter and son. And possibly the most twisted part of all of it? They reportedly began planning the sexual abuse long before the children were even born.

Sarah, who pled guilty to sexual exploitation of a minor and could serve up to 30 years in prison, reportedly testified that while she was dating her ex-husband, Jonathan, he would discuss sexual situations between fathers and daughters and even said he wanted "daddy-daughter sex." Jonathan reportedly said that he would only marry Sarah if she agreed to his plan.

While this would be enough to make most women run for their lives -- and call 911 on their way out the door -- Sarah went along with it because she wanted to "be with him." And a year after they were married, she gave birth to their daughter.

While it's unfathomable that any woman would agree to this, Sarah reportedly told jurors that she would do whatever it took to be with Jonathan. Because he was just that much of a winner, folks.

Sarah and Jonathan, who is reportedly a former Marine, eventually divorced. You think this would at least get the daughter away from her sick father, but Sarah reportedly continued to allow her ex to sexually abuse their daughter over Skype and during visits.

Sadly, even if Sarah had balked at Jonathan's horrific plan, he was intent on finding a child to victimize. In fact, after his divorce, his new girlfriend allegedly allowed him to abuse her young daughter.

The idea that a woman would willingly give birth to a child so that her child could become prey to a sexual predator is sickening to say the least. Hopefully these two won't see freedom for a very long time, maybe never again. It just goes to show you that giving birth doesn't mean you're a parent.

What could make a woman agree to this?

Traditional Marriage According to the Bible

Family Values: "Adultery Jumps 40% Among Surveyed U.S. Wives"

Cheating Wives Narrowed Infidelity Gap Over Two Decades

by Frank Bass - Bloomberg News - July 1, 2031:



American women, who trail men when it comes to making money, leading companies and accumulating wealth, are closing the gap on at least one measure: cheating on their spouses.

The percentage of wives having affairs rose almost 40 percent during the last two decades to 14.7 percent in 2010, while the number of men admitting to extramarital affairs held constant at 21 percent, according to the latest data from the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey.

The narrowing gap, reported by a sociologist at Auburn University at Montgomery, reflects multiple trends. Wives with their own jobs have less to lose economically from a divorce, and social media have made it easier to engage in affairs.

“Men are still more likely to cheat than women,” said Yanyi Djamba, director of the AUM Center for Demographic Research. “But the gender gap is closing.”

Blacks, executives and managers, and Southerners were most likely to report extramarital affairs to the 40-year-old survey, the oldest continuous source of data on American behavior.

The main impetus behind extramarital affairs was predictable, Djamba said: One in four men described their marriages as “not very happy,” more than twice the number of wives who rationalized their adultery that way.

The survey results lend support to one researcher’s argument that what’s been presumed about female sexuality for centuries may be wrong. Daniel Bergner, the author of the newly published book “What Do Women Want?,” said cultural expectations have prevented women from having more affairs.

Sex Drive

“Women are programmed to seek out one good man, and men never have been really well-suited to monogamy, right?” Bergner said in a telephone interview. An increasing body of science suggests that women’s sex drives are as powerful as men’s libidos, Bergner said, though they’ve been repressed by thousands of years of male-dominated culture.

Alton Abramowitz, president of the Chicago-based American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said he’s seen an increase in the number of divorce cases sparked by cheating wives.

“We always had a few cases with women, but they were much more discreet about it,” he said. “In the past 10 years or so, though, there’s been an uptick in those cases coming through our office.”

More women may feel free to cheat because the economic consequences aren’t as dire as they were when more women stayed at home, said Pepper Schwartz, a University of Washington sociologist who writes “The Naked Truth” column for AARP, the largest group representing the elderly in the U.S.

Better Mate

“They can afford the potential consequences of an affair, with higher incomes and more job prospects,” she said in an e-mail. “They have more economic independence and may meet a better class of mate.”

The ease of online affairs and the prevalence of computer use among younger women may be responsible for a large share of the increase, Schwartz said.

“Think Ashley Madison,” she wrote, referring to the online affair-matchmaking service.

The website has grown since its 2002 creation to serve 3.5 million active users speaking nine languages in 26 countries, said Noel Biderman, the chief executive officer of Toronto-based Avid Life Media Inc., which operates Ashley Madison.

“There’s been a cultural shift,” Biderman said, “and female infidelity is very linked to cultural change.”

Younger Cheaters

The website’s usage patterns by age highlight the shifts, he said. The ratio of males to females is greatest among users older than 65, with 14 men for every woman. The ratio is 4-to-1 among users in their 50s, 3-to-1 for spouses in their 40s, and evenly divided among people using Ashley Madison in their 30s.

The number of female affairs still lags behind male dalliances. For every two women like actress Meg Ryan, who exchanged cheating accusations with her ex-husband Dennis Quaid, or Paula Broadwell, the biographer-turned-mistress of former CIA Director David Petraeus, there are three men like former President Bill Clinton, pro golfer Tiger Woods or onetime South Carolina governor, and now U.S. congressman, Mark Sanford, who have been the focus of much-publicized reports of extramarital affairs.

As the nation’s median age increases, changes in attitudes about women engaging in sex with someone not their spouse may cause the gap to narrow more, Bergner said.

“Once you strip away the stigma from the equation, interest in casual sex is about equal for women and men,” he said. “So we men may have a lot to worry about.”

As More Republicans Come Out In Support of Gay Marriage, Will Venango County Remain Behind The Times?

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) Becomes Third GOP Senator To Back Marriage Equality

The Washington Post - June 19, 2013:

A third Republican senator has come out in favor of gay marriage, with Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) announcing her support Wednesday morning.

“I am a life-long Republican because I believe in promoting freedom and limiting the reach of government,” Murkowski wrote on her Web site. “When government does act, I believe it should encourage family values. I support the right of all Americans to marry the person they love and choose because I believe doing so promotes both values: it keeps politicians out of the most private and personal aspects of peoples’ lives – while also encouraging more families to form and more adults to make a lifetime commitment to one another.”

Murkowski joins Sens. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) and Rob Portman (R-Ohio), who earlier this year became the first GOP senators to back gay marriage. Murkowski is also the 54th sitting senator to endorse gay marriage. (All but three of the 54 members of the Senate Democratic caucus have also backed gay marriage.)

The Supreme Court is expected to rule in the coming days on cases involving legalizing same-sex marriage.

Murkowski noted that Ronald Reagan’s daughter recently said the former president would have backed gay marriage today (something another of his children has disputed).

“Like Reagan, Alaskans believe that government works best when it gets out of the way,” Murkowski said. “Countless Alaskans and Americans want to give themselves to one another and create a home together. I support marriage equality and support the government getting out of the way to let that happen.”

Earlier Wednesday morning, Murkowski broke the news in an interview with KTUU-TV.

“There may be some that when they hear the position that I hold that are deeply disappointed. There may be some who embrace the decision that I have made,” she said. “I recognize that it is an area that as a Republican I will be criticized for.”

The news was hailed by the pro-gay marriage Human Rights Campaign.

“We hope other fair-minded conservatives like Sen. Murkowski stand up and join her,” HRC President Chad Griffin said. “Alaska may be nicknamed ‘the Last Frontier,’ but we’ve got to make sure that LGBT Alaskans don’t have to wait to find justice.”

Murkowski was long seen as a likely recruit for the pro-gay marriage camp. She is among the Senate’s leading moderates and earlier this year said her views on gay marriage were “evolving.”

Seneca Man Convicted of Raping 11-year-old Girl

from ExploreVenango.com:

OIL CITY, Pa. (June 13, 2013) – A 53-year-old Seneca man has been found guilty in connection with the 2012 rape of an 11-year-old girl.

53-year-old Stuart James Proper was arrested in October 2012 in connection with the rape of an 11-year-old girl at a location on Oil City’s North Side. Police say Proper had sexual contact with the victim on two separate occasions, once in late August 2012 and once in early September 2012.

Proper was a live-in boyfriend of the victim’s mother, according to police.

In Venango County Court of Common Pleas on Tuesday, Proper was found guilty on the following felony charges:

- Rape of Child Guilty
- Invol. Deviate Sexual Intercourse W/Child
- Agg. Ind. Assault of Child
- Indecent Assault Person Less than 13 Years of Age
- Corruption Of Minors

According to court documents, Proper is awaiting sentencing.

Biblical Marriage Not Defined Simply As One Man, One Woman: Iowa Religious Scholars Say

By Meredith Bennett-Smith in The Huffington Post - June 6, 2013:

A trio of Iowa-based religious scholars penned an op-ed in a local paper this week, reminding readers that despite popular opinion, the Bible does not simply define marriage as between one man and one woman.


The joint editorial was written by Hector Avalos, Robert R. Cargill and Kenneth Atkinson and published in the Des Moines Register on Sunday. The men teach at Iowa State University, University of Iowa and University of Northern Iowa, respectively.

"The debate about marriage equality often centers, however discretely, on an appeal to the Bible," the authors wrote. "Unfortunately, such appeals often reflect a lack of biblical literacy on the part of those who use that complex collection of texts as an authority to enact modern social policy."

The Bible's definition of marriage can be confusing and contradictory, noted the scholars. They stated in their column that a primary example of this is the religious book's stance on polygamy, a practice that was embraced by prominent biblical figures Abraham and David. Furthermore, Avalos, Cargill and Atkinson point out that various Bible passages mention not only traditional monogamy, but also self-induced castration and celibacy, as well as the practice of wedding rape victims to their rapists.

In an interview with The Huffington Post, Iowa University Professor Robert R. Cargill said the column was the brainchild of his colleague Hector Avalos, who suggested local scholars put together an "educated response" to the often-touted claim that the Bible defines marriage as solely between one man and one woman. "[T]hat's not the only thing the Bible says," Cargill told HuffPost.

He explained that it is obvious to scholars (and some religious leaders) that the Bible endorses a wide range of relationships. But he noted, however, that professors are "terrified" of the potential backlash that might result from opening a dialogue about these relationships. Cargill also noted that the initial response to the Register column has included its fair share of vitriol.

Ultimately, said Cargill, a Biblical "argument against same-sex marriage is wholly unsustainable. We all know this, but very few scholars are talking about it, because they don't want to take the heat."

He suggested that academics who continue to be cowed by a strident opposition do a disservice to their communities.

"Most people aren't dumb, they want to make an informed decision" on religiously charged questions, Cargill said. "If scholars aren't talking to them, they have to rely on talk show hosts and pundits, and that's not the most reliable source of information."


Cargill also realizes that there are some people he may never be able to convince.

Many politicians have made a career out of using the Bible to justify opposition to hot-button topics like same-sex marriage or abortion. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), for example, told a crowd of evangelicals in April that Americans cannot "retreat from our values and fail to make the case on issues like marriage -- because it is one man, one woman -- because God said it is."

Cargill said Bachman and her like-minded colleagues use a strategy he calls "cherry picking" to appeal to their base.

"Politicians who use the Bible aren't necessarily interested in the truth or the complexity of the Bible," he said. "They are looking for one ancient sound bite to convince people what they already believe."

Anyone who argues that "the Bible speaks plainly on one issue, especially something as complicated as marriage ... haven't take the time to read all of it," he added.

Family Values Explained So People With Extra-Thick Heads Can Understand

Hillary Clinton really breaks it down for the proud people of the United States of America. Whether you believe in family values, economic prosperity, freedom, or old-fashioned setting a good example, fully legalizing gay marriage is obviously the right choice.

Family Values: Key ‘Ex-Gay’ Activist Admits He Molested ‘Little Girls’

by Wayne Besen, Truth Wins Out:

In a shocking admission, Christopher Doyle, a board member for Parents & Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) and blogger for the Christian Post, admits that while he was an adolescent he got in trouble for molesting “little girls” that his mother was responsible for watching in her daycare center. According to “Christopher’s Story,” which was previously posted on PFOX’s website, Doyle confessed:

"I tried to have sex with the little girls that my mother watched in her daycare, and eventually, one of the girls told her parents what I was doing. The shame that was placed on me by my parents was more than I could bear. Rather than rescue me, teach me, and put me in counseling, the ‘bad boy’ was left alone to deal with all of this shame.”

Doyle claims that he was only ten years old at the time of the illegal incidents. Still, such disturbing behavior is rather unusual and raises enormous red flags in our view, considering Doyle’s access to youth as a therapist. He is currently a counselor at the International Healing Foundation (IHF), a business where the therapists regularly pet vulnerable clients in a technique called “touch therapy.” IHF has long focused on youth and its founder, Richard Cohen, has written a bizarre “ex-gay” children’s book “Alfie’s Home.” Doyle is also a key member of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), which claims that 50% of their clients are LGBT youth.

Perhaps most alarming, Doyle has started a company, Acception Productions, that is working to get its anti-gay videos — that deceptively pretend to be anti-bullying videos — into public schools. At the time of publication, Doyle has not provided the ages of the girls he admits to “trying to have sex with.”

It could be that Doyle’s confessed youthful perversion only occurred during that time period, many years ago. However, one must take pause when looking a his career, one that disturbingly goes through great lengths to place Doyle in close proximity to youth.

The question that parents should ask: Do they want Christopher Doyle, given his notorious past, engaging in touch therapy with their sons and daughters?

Family Values Activist Found Guilty of Filming Child Porn

Alliance Defending Freedom Lawyer Will Face 25 Years In Prison 

For Forcing Her 14-Year-Old Daughter To Have Sex With Two Men On Camera

Star News:

An anti-gay lawyer who videotaped her own daughter having sex with two men was found guilty of filming and possessing child porn yesterday (11 January).

Lisa Biron, 43, from New Hampshire, US, faces a minimum sentence of 25 years in prison.

The attorney, associated with reactionary Christian anti-gay firm Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF), was arrested by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in November last year.

She was accused of eight felony counts involving the videotaping of men having sex with her 14-year-old child, taking a teenage girl to Canada and forcing her to engage in sex on Camera.

Biron also allegedly made a phone video of her having sex with her daughter as well.

The ADF calls itself a ‘servant ministry’ that issue dire warnings about the ‘homosexual agenda’, and offers a book by its president Alan Sears and senior director Craig Osten.

In the book, the authors claim the ‘homosexual agenda’ will destroy religious liberty and free speech, and say homosexuality and pedophilia is ‘intrinsically linked’.

According to the Southern Law Poverty Center, the ADF removed all mentions of her from its website and Facebook page, and said Biron was never an employee.

In March of 2011, she was listed by the ADF as an ‘Allied Attorney Success Story’.

The sentencing hearing for Biron is set for 22 April, where she will be charged with a minimum of 10 years in prison on the transportation charge and 15 years in prison on each of the exploitation of children charges.

The American Family Association: America's Bully says USA Today

How Family Values Hurt Kids

by Bruce Kluger, Member of USA Today’s Board of Contributors - Jan 10, 2013:

While the rest of America celebrated the holidays by briefly escaping the workload that now, once again, dominates their lives, one unlucky group never got the chance to take a day off. And I'm not talking about the beleaguered clerks at the Big Box stores that never seem to close, but, instead, those valiant defenders of virtue at the anti-gay hate group known as the American Family Association (AFA). They were busy trying to stop elves from cavorting with a known lesbian.

Last month, One Million Moms, the inexplicably angry online village founded by the AFA, inveighed against J.C. Penney for a holiday ad featuring spokeswoman Ellen DeGeneres. "JCP has made their choice to offend a huge majority of their customers again," Moms said in a statement. "Christians must now vote with their wallets."

Hyperbole is nothing new for the AFA satellite army. When Penney first hired DeGeneres last February, Moms blasted the retailer for "jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon." Back then, the nasty broadside was wearying, though predictable. This time, it was just stupid. In the holiday spot, DeGeneres talked gift-shopping with a trio of Santa's elves. Scary, right?

Reasonable people can disregard the ramblings of a belligerent splinter group (as DeGeneres herself noted, you have to wonder about an organization that calls itself One Million Moms but can barely round up 50,000 Facebook followers). But I continue to be bewildered at the obsessive, mean-spirited activism of the American Family Association itself.

Since its 1977 founding by a Methodist pastor in Mississippi, the AFA (whose mission is to rid the nation of "ungodliness and depravity") has sprayed its venomous indignation like buckshot, boycotting any group that bears the faintest whiff of gay inclusion. Among its countless targets: the Walt Disney Co., for promoting "the homosexual agenda" by providing health coverage for employees in same-sex relationships; the American Girl doll company, for supporting the non-profit youth organization Girls Inc., which it called "a pro-abortion, pro-lesbian advocacy group"; Hallmark, for offering same-sex wedding cards on its racks; the Ford Motor Co., for advertising in gay publications and sponsoring gay pride celebrations; Archie comic books, for allowing its first openly gay character to marry another man in one of its stories; McDonald's, for joining the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce; and the Campbell Soup Co., for buying an ad in a gay magazine that featured a presumably lesbian couple and their son enjoying a bowl of butternut squash bisque.

These people must be exhausted.

(At left, Diane Gramley, President of the Venango County-based American Family Association of Pennsylvania.)

Though the AFA has largely gone after corporations that have the means to fight back, it crossed the line in late 2012 when it chose a new and more defenseless kind of victim: children. In October, National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, it launched an offensive against Mix it Up at Lunch Day, an 11-year-old national program that encourages kids to seek out new friends in the cafeteria as a way of keeping cliques -- and bullying -- at bay. The AFA decried the program as "a nationwide push to promote the homosexual lifestyle in public schools," and it asked parents to file protests or keep their children home from school on that day.

Supporters of AFA's efforts argued that anti-bullying campaigns focus too heavily on protecting gay and questioning youths at the expense of non-gay bullying victims. But the fact is, numerous studies -- including a survey by researchers at Harvard -- have determined that gay kids are one to two times more likely to be bullied than straight kids, and between two to four times as likely to attempt suicide. It is a problem within a problem.

The AFA boycott was ultimately unsuccessful -- only about 200 of the 2,500 participating schools reportedly canceled the day's events -- but it underscored the shameful irony at the heart of the brouhaha: that the American Family Association has now, in effect, become the nation's reigning bully, preying on those who are different.

One would think that the AFA might learn a thing or two from the election season polls, which revealed that most citizens are turned off by negative attacks and, likewise, by those who would pry into their personal lives, including their sexual preferences. One would also think that the AFA might learn a lesson from last month's tragedy in Newtown, Conn.: that our children are not only precious to us but also frighteningly vulnerable, and undeserving of being anyone's prey.

It's time to ask the AFA to stand down. Despite its self-appointed, McCarthy-like crusade to transform this nation into its own image, America doesn't need its help, thank you.

"My 7-Year-Old Son Is Gay, and I'm So Proud To Be His Mom"

A great example of true family values for all those trapped by the mendacious fear-mongering and anti-gay propaganda of Venango County-based Hate Group, the American Family Association of Pennsylvania.


by Amelia, on the Huffington Post:

Considering that my son has a longstanding crush on Glee's Blaine and regularly refers to him as "my boyfriend," I thought there was a fair chance that he would someday say, "I'm gay." But my kid is only 7 years old. I figured I had a few years before we crossed that threshold (if we ever did), probably when he was 14 or 15. I never thought it would happen this soon.


Six months ago "gay" wasn't even a word in my son's vocabulary. He has always known that some of our male friends are married to men and some of our female friends to women, and it is such a normal part of his life that he never needed a special word to describe them. When he did notice the word and asked what it meant, I told him that when boys want to marry boys and girls want to marry girls, we call that "gay." He didn't seem very interested and quickly went off to do something else more exciting than a vocabulary lesson with his mom.

Fast-forward a few months. I was on the phone with a relative who had just discovered that I was blogging on The Huffington Post and openly discussing my son's crush on Blaine. I was in another room alone (I thought), explaining, "We're not saying he's straight, and we're not saying he's gay. We're saying we love who he is," when my son's voice piped up behind me.

"Yes, I am," he said.

"Am what, baby?" I asked.

"Gay. I'm gay."

My world paused for a moment, and I saw the "geez, Mom, didn't you know that already?" look on my son's face.

I got off the phone and leaned down to eye level with him and rubbed my nose against his. "I love you so much."

"I know," he said, and ran off to play with his brothers.

Since that day, any time the word "gay" has come into conversation, he has happily announced to those around him, "I'm gay!" He says this very naturally and happily, the same way he announces other things that he likes about himself. Mention that a person is tall and he'll quickly add, "I'm tall!" If he hears the word "Legos," barely a second passes before he says, "Legos. I love Legos." Saying "I'm gay" is his way of telling people: this is something I like about myself.

It's amazing, but it's also shocking. How many people have a 7-year-old come out to them? A lot of people don't know how to react, and I don't blame them. Before my son, I'd never met a child who came out this young -- and we don't know anyone else who has. The mere idea of children having a sexual orientation makes people uncomfortable. It's something we don't think about (or just don't like to).

But here's the thing: straight children have nothing to announce. Straight is the assumption. No one bats an eye at a little girl with a Justin Bieber poster in her bedroom, or when little girls love playing wedding with little boys every chance they get. If our sexual orientation is simply part of who we are, why wouldn't it be there in our elementary years?

I've heard from countless adults who say they knew that they were gay as young as kindergarten but lacked the language to talk about it. And in most cases, they knew it was something wrong that they should hide. Because gay people are part of my son's everyday life, he has the vocabulary, and it has never occurred to him there is anything wrong with it.

On one occasion after an "I'm gay" announcement, I watched my husband reach out to ruffle our son's hair. "I know, buddy," my husband said to him. "And you're awesome, too." That's how we're handling it. We want him to know we hear him, and that he's wonderful. It feels like the right thing to do, and that's all we have to go by. We don't have any other examples.

We did take a few extra steps. Within a few days we had a quick talk with him about how some people don't like it when people are gay, explaining that those people are wrong. If he hears anyone says anything about being gay like it is something bad, he is to run and get us immediately. We had a brief conversation with his teachers: Our son is identifying as gay. We don't think there's anything wrong with that or with him. And this is the only acceptable opinion on the subject. All his teachers, while surprised, were on board. We learned that he hasn't used that word at school yet, so we'll cross that bridge when the time comes.

I don't think it will always be easy. We don't know what to expect. At this point we aren't looking for trouble, but at the same time we're preparing for it. We know we have a journey ahead of us, just like everyone does. And this is one part of the story of our son and our family.

Do I think this is the last word on his orientation? I don't know. He's 7. Maybe as he gets older he'll tell me something else, but it's just as likely that he won't. But really, that doesn't even matter. What matters is right now. And right now I have a young son who happily announces "I'm gay." And I'm so proud to be his mom.

Sent By The Gods - True Family Values

A Native Hawaiian Recalls Queer Life Before Westernization

from I'm From Driftwood in The Huffington Post:

NovaLei was born and raised in Hawaii and knows from old stories what being queer was like back when Hawaii was still an independent country: "The LGBT person, in ancient times, was actually revered, and thought to be blessed and sent by the gods... There was a place for them in our society." NovaLei felt that he was gay his entire life, and he was very accepted and loved by his family. He was thought to be special. For those who were born and raised in traditional Hawaiian culture, these views are still strong.

Unfortunately, as Western culture encroached on Hawaii's native culture, things started to change, and queer people were viewed differently. NovaLei recalls, "I remember going to school one day and getting beaten up and called a sissy, and a queer. At the time, I was staying with my grandfather. I remember coming home and saying I wanted to kill myself." Needless to say, his grandfather was concerned, asking why he was so upset. NovaLei explained that he didn't want to go back to school, that he wanted to kill everyone there and himself, because no one liked him, simply because he was gay. His grandfather sat there in silence for a while, and NovaLei finally asked if he was going to respond. He did when prompted, imparting wisdom upon NovaLei that would change his life: "If you never remember anything I ever tell you, I want you to remember this: that because of who you are, there will be enough people in your lifetime to love you for exactly who you are, that you'll never have to worry about the ones who don't."

From then on, whenever NovaLei faced hard situations with people criticizing him, he would remember his grandfather's words: "I would see him looking at me, and I would realize, 'OK, you may not like me, but...,' I would then start thinking, in my mind, of all the people that do."

A Letter of Love to Two Gay Dads

Adopted by Two Gay Dads After a Tumultuous Upbringing,

15-Year-Old Zac Shares a Letter of Love

by Patrick Wallace, founder of A Note To My Kid:

This past Christmas, Zac decided to read the following note to his dads, Arturo and Dave (lovingly referred to as "Dad" and "Dadio"), and his adopted brothers, Nick and Derrick, before they opened their presents.

Zac's note tells the story of his tumultuous upbringing, the anger and destructive behavior that resulted from the negative experiences he endured as a child, and, ultimately, the appreciation and love he has for his two dads, not to mention his adopted brothers, Kevin and Derrick.

With the permission of his fathers, we share Zac's heartfelt letter with you.

To my Family,

This is the first Christmas letter that I have ever written. I feel like since I am getting older, I should start writing a letter to the family or just talk about how I thought the family's year has gone until Christmas.

Ever since I ended up in this family people have told me that I was lucky. I have always known that I am lucky, especially when I have two dads that love me so much as Dad and Dadio. My family is very special to me. Even when we fight and even when we argue, I know they will always love me. Yes I am a lucky boy to have ended up here after spending so many years in foster care and not knowing if I would ever have a family.

I didn't grow with a dad. My birthmom had many boyfriends and she did a lot of drugs and partying. My sisters and me were taken from her on my eighth birthday. It was not fun to have police in my room on that day. It made me sad and this sadness I carried for many years and it got me in a lot of trouble. Then I landed in a great foster home after having lived in 12 different homes in three years. It was when I lived there that both my foster mom and social worker told me there was a family that wanted me. There was a catch: it was two dads!

Honestly, it didn't matter to me. I told them, "well, I never had a dad, now I get to have two!"

The start was tough and rough, and I put them through hell and back. I did awful and nasty things to them both. I stole their credit card and spent thousands of dollars online. When we went on my first vacation out of the country, I stole stuff from a souvenir stand - they found out and made me go back to the shop to return the souvenirs and made me pay the lady who owned the shop for the stolen property which then I had to give to a local kid. I didn't get it and thought they were being mean.

When I stole their American Express and maxed it buying stuff online I was only 12 years old. They were very upset, but Dad made sure I got the message of how serious this was. He took me to our local police station and reported me to the police captain for having stolen again. I was taken to an interrogation room and talked to by three police officers. All the time there I only wanted my Dad to come in and bring me home. I wanted to turn time back to before my stealing so I would not be there and I would not have hurt my parents so much. I learned my lesson and NEVER stole again!

But Dad and Dadio brought not just me into this family. They also added my brother Derrick. What I can say about Derrick is that he is really cool, he is funny, he is an awesome gay guy, he is a one of a kind guy, he is my bro. Next they added Nick. Nick can get on my nerves sometimes, but in the end he is pretty cool. He is a fast leaner when it comes to math and multiplying numbers. And with that said, I will go to the roots of the family.

Dad and Dadio. They are my parents and they are always here when I need them.

When it is dark they are the light,
When I feel frightened and chills,
They are the warmth I feel.
When I am hungry they cook my meals.

I did not put a lot of time into the poem, but in the poem you see my parents. The people that show me the light. The people that warm my heart when it gets dark. The people that cook my meals. If I could only ask for anything for Christmas I would only ask for my family.

By Zac

Traditional Family Values in Northwestern Penna. - "Man Jailed Over Unwelcome Toilet Break in Ex-Wife’s Home"

from The Oil City Derrick:

GIRARD (AP) — A northwestern Pennsylvania man is jailed on charges he took an unwelcome toilet break in his ex-wife’s home.


Police in Girard say 24-year-old Nathan Wingerter broke into his ex-wife’s home on Aug. 1, threw her photo identification cards into the toilet and then defecated on them. Police say the woman walked in to find Wingerter on the toilet.

The Erie Times-News reports that police issued a warrant for Wingerter and arrested him days later in Painesville, Ohio.

He was returned to Erie County to face charges of burglary and criminal mischief on Wednesday.

Online court records don’t list an attorney for Wingerter. Erie County Prison officials say he remained incarcerated there on Friday.

Venango County Man Faces Trial on Sexual Assaults on 6- and 10-year Old Girls

from The Oil City Derrick:

A 66-year-old Oil City man was ordered held for court Wednesday on charges he sexually assaulted 6- and 10-year-old girls in a downtown apartment complex.


Walter McCauley, was bound over for trial following his preliminary hearing before District Judge Douglas Dinberg in Venango County court.

Oil City police accused McCauley earlier this month of allegedly performing sexual acts on the girls and making them perform acts on him at his apartment in Seneca Court.

McCauley faces 13 felony charges including counts of aggravated indecent assault, indecent assault and endangering the welfare of a child — and 10 misdemeanors, according to court documents.

According to a criminal complaint, one of the girls described the assaults to Venango County Children and Youth Services (CYS) workers.


McCauley later allegedly admitted to police and CYS workers he performed sex acts on one of the girls, and exposed himself to the second girl and made her expose herself to him on one occasion, the papers said.

He was placed in Venango County jail on $50,000 bail, according to court documents.

A preliminary hearing was continued Wednesday for another Oil City man accused of sex crimes involving minors, court papers said.

Oil City police accused Juan Jose Gonzales of exposing himself to at least two young girls and sexually assaulting another then fleeing to Florida.

Gonzales was arrested earlier this month in Florida and was transported to Venango County jail, where he remains on $100,000 bail, police said.

His hearing is now scheduled for Wednesday, May 4.

'Traditional Family Values' in the Oil Region

Man charged in Titusville death

Police say suspect buried girlfriend in snow

by Kristi Cummins for The Derrick:

It’s hard to tell that someone was murdered near the quiet apartment complex at 820 Rockwood Drive in Titusville.

There’s no crime scene tape, no crowds, and the only sound that could be heard Wednesday morning was the scrape of a shovel on snow nearby.

But late Tuesday night, Titusville police officers had reported to the scene — based on a confession from Michael Brooker — where they found the body of Renee R. Gates, 23, of Titusville, buried in the snow.


Brooker, 35, of Phoenix, Ariz., had gone to the Titusville police station Tuesday night to report what he’d done. After confessing, he was arraigned in court early Wednesday on one count of criminal homicide, and he is being held without bail.

Sandy Murphy remembers her neighbor as kind and caring, which made the news of the apparent homicide all the more shocking.

“Renee was a wonderful, wonderful person,” Murphy said. “She was friendly, outgoing, and just as sweet as they come.”

When Murphy was recently hospitalized, Gates was the first to visit her, offering to do anything she could to help Murphy out.

Murphy had no idea what happened sometime over the weekend between Gates and Brooker that led to her death.

“I didn’t hear a thing. I am absolutely stunned by this,” Murphy said.

Other residents of the Titusville Apartments agreed, saying even though they had been home at the time of the murder — and when police came to the scene to look for Gates’ body Tuesday night — they never heard a thing.

“We’re very sad about this,” said Diane Wagner, site manager at Titusville Apartments. “Our hearts and prayers go out to her family.”

.. .. ..

At about 11:10 p.m. Tuesday, Brooker entered the Titusville Police Department, where he told Capt. Glenn Ciccarelli that he had killed his girlfriend, according to the affidavit of probable cause filed by police with Titusville District Judge Amy Nicols. Brooker was then interviewed by Officer Aaron Madden.

Brooker said about three days ago, either Saturday or Sunday, he went to Gates’ apartment, where they got into a physical fight.

During the fight, Brooker said he pushed Gates and then she scratched his face. The affidavit noted Brooker had visible scratches on his face.


Brooker told police he then punched Gates in the face, and she ran into the apartment’s master bedroom. She jumped out the bedroom window, turned right, and ran toward the apartment complex’s storage sheds, about 50 feet away.

In the affidavit, Brooker said he followed Gates out the window and caught her just as she reached the side of the storage sheds.

He took her back to the side of the building, about 10 feet away from the storage shed, when Gates began to scream.

According to the affidavit, Brooker said he put Gates in a headlock to stop her from screaming and continued to drag her back to the bedroom window.

Once he let her out of the headlock, Brooker said Gates fell to the ground but was still conscious.

Brooker told police he then placed his foot on Gates’ neck and stood on her throat “for quite a bit.”

When he removed his foot, Gates was not moving, he told police.

Brooker re-entered the apartment through the master bedroom window and retrieved a shovel to bury Gates’ body in the snow.

Brooker said he placed the shovel by the front door of the apartment. The clothes he was wearing, he told police in the affidavit, were covered in Gates’ blood.

At about 11:30 p.m. Tuesday, Ciccarelli and Officer William Dilley located Gates’ body buried in the snow just where Brooker said she had been.

.. .. ..

Two sources told the newspaper that Brooker and Gates met while working in a carnival together.

In the court documents, Brooker is described as 6 feet tall with brown hair and blue eyes.

Nicols said Brooker was “very polite” when he was arraigned before her early Wednesday morning.

“He was very detached,” Nicols added.

Titusville police said there were no visible wounds or ligature marks on Gates’ body.

Crawford County Coroner Patrick McHenry said an autopsy will be conducted at the Erie County Coroner’s Office to determine the cause of death.

Nicols said Brooker was being held at the Crawford County jail without bail but was moved to a local hospital after an apparent suicide attempt.

Titusville police were assisted at the scene by state police, and an investigation is continuing.

"The Passion" of "Traditional Family Values"

The Good News About Christian-Right Darling Mel Gibson

By Frank Rich


FOR Fourth of July weekend fireworks, even Macy’s couldn’t top the spittle-spangled eruptions of Mel Gibson. The clandestine recordings of his serial audio assaults on his gal pal were instant Web and cable-TV sensations — at once a worthy rival to Hollywood’s official holiday releases and a compelling sequel to his fabled anti- Semitic rant of 2006. A true showman, Gibson offered vitriol for nearly all tastes, aiming his profane fusillade at women, blacks and Latinos alike. The invective was tied together by a domestic violence subplot worthy of “Lethal Weapon.” There was even a surprise comic coda, courtesy of Whoopi Goldberg, who, alone among Gibson’s showbiz peers, used her television platform on “The View” to defend her buddy’s good character.

The Gibson tapes — in plain English and not requiring the subtitles of some of the star’s recent spectacles — are a particularly American form of schadenfreude. There’s little we enjoy more than watching a pampered zillionaire icon (Gibson’s production company is actually named Icon) brought low. The story would end there — just another tidy morality tale in the profuse annals of Hollywood self-destruction from Fatty Arbuckle to Lindsay Lohan — were it not for Gibson’s unique back story.

Six years ago he was not merely an A-list movie star with a penchant for drinking and boorish behavior but also a powerful and canonized figure in the political and cultural pantheon of American conservatism. That he has reached rock bottom tells us nothing new about Gibson. He was the same talented, nasty, bigoted blowhard then that he is today. But his fall says a lot about the changes in our country over the past six years. We shouldn’t take those changes for granted. We should take stock — and celebrate. They are good news.

Does anyone remember 2004? It seems a civilization ago. That less-than-vintage year was in retrospect the nadir of the American war over “values.” The kickoff fracas was Janet Jackson’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction” at the Super Bowl, which prompted a new crackdown against televised “indecency” by the Federal Communications Commission. By December Fox News and its allies were fomenting hysteria about a supposed war on Christmas, with Newt Gingrich warning of a nefarious secular plot “to abolish the word Christmas” altogether and Jerry Falwell attacking Mayor Michael Bloomberg for using the euphemism “holiday tree” at the annual tree-lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center. In between these discrete culture wars came a presidential election in which the Bush-Rove machine tried to whip up evangelical turnout by sowing panic over gay marriage.


It was into that tinderbox of America 2004 that Gibson tossed his self-financed and self-directed movie about the crucifixion, “The Passion of the Christ.” The epic was timed to detonate in the nation’s multiplexes on Ash Wednesday, after one of the longest and most divisive promotional campaigns in Hollywood history.

Gibson is in such disgrace today that it’s hard to fathom all the fuss he and his biblical epic engendered back then. The commotion began with the revelation that his father, Hutton, was a prominent and vociferous Holocaust denier and that both father and son were proselytizers for a splinter sect of Roman Catholicism that rejected the reforms of the Second Vatican Council, including the lifting of the “Christ-killers” libel from the Jews. Jewish leaders and writers understandably worried that “The Passion” might be as anti-Semitic as the Passion plays of old. Gibson’s response was to hold publicity screenings for the right-wing media and political establishment, including a select Washington soiree attended by notables like Peggy Noonan, Kate O’Beirne and Linda Chavez. (The only nominal Jew admitted was Matt Drudge.) The attendees then used their various pulpits to assure the world that the movie was divine — and certainly nothing that should trouble Jews. “I can report it is free of anti-Semitism,” vouchsafed Robert Novak after his “private viewing.”

Uninvited Jewish writers (like me) who kept raising questions about the unreleased film and its exclusionary rollout were vilified for crucifying poor Mel. Bill O’Reilly of Fox News asked a reporter from Variety “respectfully” if Gibson was being victimized because “the major media in Hollywood and a lot of the secular press is controlled by Jewish people.” Such was the ugly atmosphere of the time that these attempts at intimidation were remarkably successful. Many mainstream media organizations did puff pieces on the star or his film, lest they be labeled “anti-Christian” when an ascendant religious right was increasingly flexing its muscles in the corridors of power in Washington.

Both George and Laura Bush expressed eagerness to see “The Passion.” There were reports (spread by the film’s producer and never confirmed) that the very frail Pope John Paul II had given a thumbs-up after his own screening at the Vatican. The Wall Street Journal editorial page, which would publish several encomiums to “The Passion,” ran a sneak preview likening the film to “a documentary by Caravaggio.” Even The New Yorker ran a deferential profile of Gibson — in which the star said he wanted to kill me and my dog (though, alas, I had no dog) and have my “intestines on a stick.” Far more troubling was the article’s whitewashing of Gibson’s father’s record as a Holocaust denier. In the America of 2004, Mel Gibson, box office king and conservative culture hero, was invincible.

Once “The Passion” could be seen by ticket buyers — who would reward it with a $370 million domestic take (behind only “Shrek 2” and “Spider-Man 2” that year) — the truth could no longer be spun by Gibson’s claque. The movie was nakedly anti-Semitic, to the extreme that the Temple priests were all hook-nosed Shylocks and Fagins with rotten teeth. It was also ludicrously violent — a homoerotic “exercise in lurid sadomasochism,” as Christopher Hitchens described it then, for audiences who “like seeing handsome young men stripped and flayed alive over a long period of time.” Nonetheless, many of the same American pastors who routinely inveighed against show-business indecency granted special dispensation to their young congregants to attend this R-rated fleshfest.

It seems preposterous in retrospect that a film as bigoted and noxious as “The Passion” had so many reverent defenders in high places in 2004. Once Gibson, or at least the subconscious Gibson, baldly advertised his anti-Semitism with his obscene tirade during a 2006 D.U.I. incident in Malibu, his old defenders had no choice but to peel off. Today you never hear conservatives mention their embrace of “The Passion” back then — if they mention Gibson at all. (Fox News has barely covered the new tapes.) But it isn’t just Gibson who has been discredited. Even as he self-immolated, so did many of the moral paragons who had rallied around him as a culture-war martyr.

Take, for instance, the president of the National Association of Evangelicals. During the “Passion” wars, he had tried to blackmail Gibson’s critics by publicly noting that Christians are “a major source of support for Israel” and that Jewish leaders would be “shortsighted” to “risk alienating two billion Christians over a movie.” That evangelical leader was Ted Haggard, the Colorado megachurch pastor since brought down by a male prostitute. Gibson’s only outspoken rabbinical defender in 2004, the far-right Daniel Lapin, would be sullied in the scandals surrounding the subsequently jailed Washington lobbyist Jack Abramoff. William Donohue of the Catholic League — who defended Gibson in 2004 by saying, “Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular” — has been reduced these days to the marginal role of attacking The Times for reporting on priestly child abuse.


The cultural wave that crested with “The Passion” was far bigger than Gibson. He was simply a symptom and beneficiary of a moment when the old religious right and its political and media shills were riding high. In 2010, the American ayatollahs’ ranks have been depleted by death (Falwell), retirement (James Dobson) and rent boys (too many to name). What remains of that old guard is stigmatized by its identification with poisonous crusades, from the potentially lethal antihomosexuality laws in Uganda to the rehabilitation campaign for the “born-again” serial killer David Berkowitz (“Son of Sam”) in America.

Conservative America’s new signature movement, the Tea Party, has its own extremes, but it shuns culture-war battles. It even remained mum when a federal judge in Massachusetts struck down the anti-same-sex marriage Defense of Marriage Act this month. As the conservative commentator Kyle Smith recently wrote in The New York Post, the “demise of Reagan-era groups like the Christian Coalition and the Moral Majority is just as important” as the rise of the Tea Party. “The morality armies have failed to inspire their children to join the crusade,” he concluded, and not unhappily. The right, too, is subject to generational turnover.

As utter coincidence would have it, the revelation of the latest Gibson tapes was followed last week by the news that a federal appeals court, in a 3-0 ruling, had thrown out the indecency rules imposed by the F.C.C. after Janet Jackson’s 2004 “wardrobe malfunction.” The death throes of Mel Gibson’s career feel less like another Hollywood scandal than the last gasps of an American era.

SURPRISE - Another "Family-Values" Hypocrite Resigns

It's surely only a matter of time till a similar ax falls on the head of one or several of the self-righteous "family-values" extremists operating in Venango County.

from The Huffington Post:


Mark Souder To RESIGN Over Affair With Aide

Mark Souder, a Republican congressman from Indiana, has announced that he will resign his seat over an affair with a female aide.

Souder is a former House staffer who was elected to Congress on a "family values" platform in the Republican takeover of 1994. He won a tough contested primary challenge last week, 48 percent to 33 percent, and his Democratic opponent in the general election, Tom Hayhurst, held Souder to 54% of the vote in 2008.

"I believe that Congress must fight to uphold the traditional values that undergird the strength of our nation," Souder says on his official website. "The family plays a fundamental role in our society... I am committed to preserving traditional marriage, the union of one man and one woman."


UPDATE: Souder released the following statement: "It is with great regret I announce that I am resigning from the U.S. House of Representatives as well as resigning as the Republican nominee for Congress in this fall's election. Diane and my family were more than willing to stand here with me. We are a committed family. But the error is mine and I should bear the responsibility. I sinned against God, my wife and my family by having a mutual relationship with a part-time member of my staff. I am so shamed to have hurt those I love."

Fox News noted:

Souder was absent from Washington most of last week, missing multiple votes and only voting on Thursday. While the rumors had been flying, Souder claimed that he was at home tending to his ill wife.

All the way through his election, Souder tried to knock down the affair story, calling it revenge politics at play. But the backroom chatter in Indiana and among the GOP on Capitol Hill became too much to survive. Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels was informed as late as Monday night that Souder would give up his post.

Good Old Traditonal Family Values

Gay Student OK'd for Prom, Kicked Out of House

from The Advocate:

A Georgia gay high school student who wanted to bring his date to the prom may have scored a victory at school, but he may be losing the war in his own home.


Derrick Martin, 18, lobbied his school, Bleckley County High, to let him bring his date to the prom. Administrators gave him the OK after he appealed an earlier decision turning him down. Martin's story made headlines across the country, and offers for tuxedos, limos, and dinner poured in. But because of the media attention, Martin's parents kicked him out of their home. According to Macon's Telegraph, he is currently staying with a friend.

He said he was inspired by another Southern teenager, Constance McMillen, who was denied permission to bring her same-sex date to her prom in Mississippi. A federal judge ruled Tuesday that while the school board wronged McMillen, it would not have to hold the prom, which school officials canceled rather than allow her to bring a female date.

Martin's prom is set for April 17.