Hater, Heal Thyself

An apt message for the Venango County-based hate group known as the American Family Association of Pennsylvania ...

At Some Point, That Fault You Find In Others Is Your Own

from Will O'Bryan at Metro Weekly:

Bryon Widner is the subject of a recent documentary, Erasing Hate. Widner, once a racist skinhead, tattooed himself to make his disposition clear. The documentary follows his hours of painful procedures to remove that ink, reflecting his transition away from all that anger. Painful for Widner, but a feel-good story, nonetheless.

Of course, he's gotten death threats from white supremacists still trapped in their own cages that hate built.

Symon Hill was also in need of redemption. He found it by walking 160 miles from Brighton, England, to London last year. He calls that trip ''a pilgrimage of repentance for my former homophobic attitudes and behavior.'' Another feel-good story, right?

Not for some, probably. At least one person is too angry to forgive Hill his trespasses. On the Guardian.co.uk site, a post about Hill was answered with, ''This guy should fucking crawl the distance for his forgiveness. I forgive him nothing.''

In some people there is this expression. Maybe it's hate. Maybe it's anger. Maybe jealousy or fear or arrogance. While it's evidenced in some, we are certainly all capable of embodying this negative pain. That's what I thought of as I watched the lines of people – people who no doubt believe they were doing the right thing, making a righteous stand – line-up to support Chick-fil-A.

Whatever they may have thought, they weren't standing up for freedom of speech. They were standing up to oppress gays and lesbians. They were standing up to support donations being made, as tracked by Equality Matters, to the Family Research Council and Focus on the Family. They might have thought otherwise, but just what did they think had everybody so upset? If you're going to take an action against a community – even if you'd prefer to believe it's in support of free speech and in opposition to no one – you know what you're doing. And I forgive you.

I really wish, however, you could forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for whatever shortcoming, whatever sin that has made you so strident. If you're anti-gay because your kid is gay and you blame yourself, stop; you had nothing to do with your kid's sexual orientation. If you simply think two dudes getting it on is gross, forgive yourself. That's okay. We don't take it any more personally than you do when your kids get grossed out by seeing you kiss your spouse. If you think you're not being dogmatic enough in your religious beliefs, that God will smite you for loosening your grip, just please stop. Forgive yourself. If most people's gods are famous for anything, it's forgiveness. At least, as an observer, it seems to me I've heard plenty more about love and forgiveness than about righteous damnation.

There's no need to give up your beliefs to give up some of that anger. If you think God frowns on romantic love between people of the same sex, that's between you and God. If, however, you think marriage equality is the harbinger of societal downfall, lighten up. Consider that you're the Jewish parent of a straight girl engaged to a nice Mormon fellah, and she's going to convert. It may distress you, but it's not the end of the world. Let it go. To the guy demanding the former homophobe ''fucking crawl,'' take a breath. Mr. Hill didn't put a bomb in a gay bar. Just count to 10 and give him a small salute for trying to make things right.

Our lives are short. As everything moves forward, your hate will do little but hold you back. I'm not hoping you'll leave it behind for my sake. I'll be fine, either way. But I am hoping you'll do it for yourself.

Chick-fil-A Dustup Shows Freedom For Fundies is a One-Way Street

by Wayne Besen for Truth Wins Out:

In his latest screed, New York Times columnist Ross Douthat implored those who are opposed to Chik-fil-A's anti-gay views to, "Say what you really think: that the exercise of our religion threatens all that's good and decent, and that you're going to use the levers of power to bend us to your will."

Well, let's toss the idea right back at Douthat. "Say what you really think: that you and other fundamentalist Christians are superior and that allowing people with whom you disagree to have equal rights and opportunities threatens all that's good and decent, and that you're going to continue in the un-American business of using the levers of power to bend us to your will."

Fundamentalist Christian authors George Grant and Gary North best summarized this view in their infamous book, Changing of the Guard:

"But it is dominion we are after. Not just a voice. It is dominion we are after. Not just influence. It is dominion we are after. Not just equal time. It is dominion we are after."

This is precisely what fundamentalists have been doing for as long as they could get away with it. When it was permissible, they would bully non-Christian students into reciting their sectarian prayers in public schools. Fundies talk a good game on "parental rights," but conveniently abandon this principle whenever it involves non-Christian parents who don't want taxpayer money used to indoctrinate their children.

How about race?

"If Chief Justice Warren and his associates had known God's word and had desired to do the Lord's will, I am quite confident that the 1954 [Brown v. Board of Education] decision would never have been made. The facilities should be separate. When God has drawn the line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line." Rev. Jerry Falwell once wrote.

For much of American history, secular Americans were forced to abide by repressive Blue Laws, which dictated when people could drink alcohol or sell goods and services. For example, until April 2011, one could not buy alcohol in Georgia on Sundays because the states' governor, Sonny Perdue, was a right wing teetotaler. Even now, instead of individuals having the right to decide when they drink in Georgia, it is voted on in each county.

Given this historically despotic behavior by religious majorities, isn't it rather hypocritical for fundamentalists to now claim that their religious freedom is threatened because Boston mayor Tom Menino is against having Chik-fil-A open up in Boston?

"You can't have a business in the city of Boston that discriminates against a population," the mayor said, with his comments echoed by the mayors of Chicago and Washington, DC.

The histrionic fundies are now pretending to be martyrs. However, I'd love to have them answer a simple question: If Gov. Perdue can use his beliefs to tell people they can't have a cold beer on a hot summer day in Georgia, than why can't Mayor Menino use his equally heartfelt beliefs to tell people that they can't have a greasy chicken sandwich in Boston?

The answer is that fundies believe that religious freedom is a one-way street. For example, they can gang up on secular and religious minorities and vote for a dry county and that is "liberty." But if voters ever decide to vote for a city free of fundie-fowl, it suddenly becomes a perfidious act of religious persecution. You either adhere to their values, or they scream "victim!"

The same principles apply for marriage equality. There are religious denominations and clergy who would perform same-sex unions. However, they aren't allowed because fundies think that their beliefs supersede both secular law and the religious freedom of others.

Chick-fil-A CEO, Dan Cathy, is an example of this double standard. While he trumpets his own personal religious liberty, he funds the Family Research Council (FRC), a group that has no compunction about limiting freedom.

"The oft-repeated mantra 'you can't legislate morality'--the contention that moral arguments have no place in formulating public policy--is absurd," FRC writes in a brochure opposing same-sex marriage. "It is the duty of legislators to evaluate the right legislation needed to correct some wrong or injustice, or promote some positive or good result."

Isn't that exactly what Mayor Menino is doing - using his sense of morality to correct an injustice?

Contrary to their insincere shrieks, there is no crisis of religious liberty for fundamentalist Christians. The problem is that they have been drunk on their own power for so long that they equate the exercise of religion with forcing others to live by their restrictive rules. Because they can no longer dominate, dictate, and discriminate without push back, they are whining that they are somehow suppressed.

The truth is, Chick-fil-A should be able to open wherever it wants in the same way that I should be able to marry in any state that I want. However, as long as fundies insist on a puritanical pecking order where the "moral" majority rules, they have no basis in which to complain when they can't have their fundie fowl in Boston. The fundies must decide if they want dominion or democracy, but it is doubtful that both ideas can co-exist in the free society they claim to cherish.